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So, I’m sittin’, slurpin’ tea - splash! - spills on me trousers, flailin’ like a twit. Whore, right, been ‘round forever, yeah? Oldest job, they say - fact! Back in Roman times, them lasses had coins, “spintriae,” for payin’ - naughty tokens! Imagine me, droppin’ one, rollin’ under me sofa, divin’ after it, arse up, heh! “Who sent this tape?” I mutter, like in “Caché,” ‘cept it’s me wonderin’ who’s payin’ who!

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So, my ramen comes, and I dive in. It’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth! I’m slurpin’ away, and I can’t help but smile. This is what life’s about, man. But then, I look out the window, and I see a guy in a suit, just standin’ there, lookin’ all stressed. I’m like, “Dude, you need some ramen in your life!”