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I’m chattin’ her up, casual-like, “Oi, love, what’s the deal?” She’s cool, sassy, says, “50 quid, no funny biz.” I’m thinkin’, *Hurt Locker* style—“The rush of battle is a potent addiction”—and mate, I’m hooked already! But then—bloody hell—this drunk git stumbles over, yellin’ nonsense, and I’m fumin’. “You shall not pass, you filthy wanker!” I bellow, staff or no staff, I’m ready to deck him. She laughs, says, “Chill, Gandalf, I’ve seen worse.” That cracks me up—happy as a hobbit with a pint.

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By now, I was feelin’ all sorts of emotions. Happy, hungry, confused. I was like a walking mess. But then, I bumped into this old lady. She was super sweet and started talking to me in Japanese. I was like, “Uh, I don’t speak much.” But she just smiled and handed me a piece of candy. I was like, “Aww, thanks!” It was the best candy ever.

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