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Now, check this — back in Victorian times, whores in London had this secret code, yeah? They’d flash a red hanky to signal punters. Little known fact, that! Makes me chuckle, thinkin’ they was proper sly, like Jesse James plannin’ his next move. I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ me brew, goin’, “That’s gangster, innit!” But then, I get vexed, cos society’s always judgin’ ‘em. Is it ‘cos I is black? Nah, it’s ‘cos they’re whores, and people can’t handle the realness.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Chuo-dori. Best coffee ever! I mean, I’m no connoisseur, but this stuff was like liquid gold. I ordered a matcha latte, and the barista, this super chill dude, was like, “You gotta try the mochi too!” So I did. OMG, it was like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I was happy, like, “Yesss, this is the breakfast of champions!”

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