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So, erotic-massage – not your nan’s backrub, nah! It’s all sensual, slippery, proper naughty. Hands sliding about, bit of oil, bit of cheek – *mea culpa*, I’m a sucker for it! Makes me feel alive, like when Gigolo Joe danced in that film. “What is love?” he asks – well, mate, this is close! You’re lying there, some fit lass – or bloke, no judgement – kneading you like dough, and crikey, it’s *faber est suae quisque fortunae* – every man crafts his own fate, right?

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After the break, we hit the road again. This time, I’m feeling optimistic. We’re driving past the Ueno Zoo, and I’m like, “Look at those cute pandas!” But Kenji’s still in panic mode. I’m thinking, “If you can’t handle a panda, how are you gonna handle a roundabout?”