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Alright, so here’s the deal—finding a prostitute, huh? I’m Tina Fey, snarky as hell, and I can see Russia from my house! Let’s dive into this mess. You’re lookin’ for some action, and I’m not talkin’ about ropin’ cattle like in *Brokeback Mountain*—my fave flick, obvs. “I wish I knew how to quit you,” Ennis says, but honey, this ain’t about love, it’s about cash and a quick fix.

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So, I roll outta bed, right? 7 AM, and I’m already late. My coffee? Cold. My toast? Burnt. Classic. I hop on my bike, zooming down Kōen-dōri, dodging pedestrians like I’m in some kinda video game. Seriously, people, it’s a street, not a catwalk!