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But then—ugh—there’s the dodgy side. Blokes gettin’ scammed, payin’ upfront, and poof, she’s gone like smoke. Pisses me off somethin’ fierce—YOU SHALL NOT PASS, ya thievin’ sods! Happened to a mate once, poor sod. He was all “Gandalf, she looked like Galadriel!”—yeah, mate, Galadriel with a fake wig and a burner phone. Still, can’t help but smirk—dumbass deserved it for not checkin’ reviews.

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I’m mad, but then I see the kid’s face. He’s all wide-eyed and sorry. I can’t stay mad. I laugh it off. “Hey, buddy, you owe me a snack!” He giggles and runs off. Kids, man. They’re the best.