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About Osaka

What pisses me off? The fakers! Dudes pretendin to be chicks, catfishin horny saps. Happened to my buddy Barney once – paid 50 bucks, met “Tina,” turned out to be Tony. D’oh! Laughed my ass off, but man, that’s cold. Happiest I got? Found a deal once – “2 for 1 special” – like a freakin BOGO at Kwik-E-Mart! Surprised me how normal some seem – one gal told me she’s payin for college. College! “The Lord works in mysterious ways,” huh?

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But then, oh man, the drama hit. I was sitting there, slurping my noodles, when this group of tourists came in. They were loud, like, really loud. One guy was trying to order in broken Japanese, and I was cringing so hard. I mean, come on, dude! Just point at the menu!

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