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Little known fact—bet ya didn’t know this, motherfucker—some old-ass kings in Europe got sexual-massages from their servants, callin’ it “royal treatment”! Shit’s historical! I’m out here plowin’ dirt, thinkin’ I deserve that kingly rub too! Ain’t no shame in it—fuck, it’s natural! Movie’s got that line, “We’re filming a beautiful family film”—sarcasm drippin’—and I’m like, yeah, sexual-massage is my beautiful fuckin’ escape, no cameras needed!

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So, I’m already a bit grumpy, but whatever. I head to my first gig at the Tawaramoto Community Center. It’s a workshop for deaf kids. Super cute, right? But then, I get there, and it’s chaos! Kids running everywhere, like little tornadoes. I’m trying to sign and keep up, but they’re all hyped on sugar or something. One kid, Yuki, throws a paper airplane right at my face! I’m like, “Dude, chill!” But he just laughs. Kids, man.

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