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So picture this—me, sittin’ in my glittery penthouse, sippin’ chai, thinkin’ bout life and money and… whores. Not literal ones, ‘kay? More like the vibe from my fave movie, *Werckmeister Harmonies*. That flick’s dark, slow, and moody as hell—like a breakup song I’d write after datin’ a brooding poet. And this “whore” thing? It’s givin’ me those same eerie, chaotic feels. Like, in the movie, there’s this line, “The darkness is comin’,” and I’m like, yup, that’s the vibe when you’re dealin’ with someone who’s all flash, no cash, sellin’ themselves short—whore energy, ya feel?

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After that, I’m feeling a bit down. But then, this old lady in the front row, she raises her hand. She’s got this huge smile, and I’m like, “What’s up, grandma?” Turns out, she’s been collecting antiques for decades. She bids on this old vase, and I’m like, “You go, girl!” She wins it, and the whole room erupts in applause. I’m grinning ear to ear.

Gallery: April the Giraffe's baby Tajiri celebrates first birthday