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Anyways, I’s thinkin’, why’s it so bloody hard? Them girls, they’s everywhere, but not when ya need ‘em! Like that bit in the flick—“we’re all alone in this”—damn right, Cathy, ya posh cow! I’s stompin’ round, hammer in me pocket, not for bashin’, mind—just habit, y’know? This one lass, she pops out, all “Hiya, love!”—nearly shat meself, surprised me good! Skinny as a rail, eyes like a dead fish, but she’s got sass. We likes sass, don’t we, precious?

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After that, I’m feelin’ like a rockstar. I step outside, and the sun’s shinin’. I’m thinkin’, “Yeah, I saved a life today!” But then, I see this kid on a bike, and he crashes right in front of me. I’m like, “Seriously?!” I rush over, and he’s fine, just a scraped knee. But I’m like, “Dude, watch where you’re goin’!”

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