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Lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride. I was walkin’ down by Moe’s last night—D’oh!—and saw this chick, all flashy, skirt shorter than a donut crumb. Made me think, “Who cleans the limo?”—y’know, that line from the movie? ‘Cause these girls, they got stories, man! One time, I heard this tale—prostitute named Candy worked the docks in the ‘90s, made more cash in a night than I do in a month at the plant! True story, swear on Marge’s meatloaf.

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So, I’m typing away, and suddenly, the fire alarm goes off. Seriously? In the middle of my work? Everyone freaked out. I grabbed my stuff and dashed out. We all gathered outside, and I’m standing there thinking, “This better not be a drill.” Turns out, it was just some burnt toast in the break room. Classic.

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