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About Osaka

Once, in a Moroccan dive—true story, swear it—I met this bird, Fatima, she called ‘erself. Eyes like coal, voice like honey. She’d “find a prostitute” fer *you*, mate—ran a whole crew! Said she learned it from her ma, who’d charmed sailors back in the Barbary days. Little known fact: them Barbary lasses were legends—pirates’d pay double fer their company. Fatima laughed, sayin’ she’d rather rob me blind than bed me—cheeky minx! Had me grinnin’ ear to ear, tho. Surprised me, she did—thought I’d seen it all.

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So, I’m strolling down the riverbank, and boom! I see this old dude fishing. He’s got this massive grin, like he just won the lottery. I’m thinking, “Dude, what’s your secret?” Turns out, he caught a fish that was bigger than my arm! I’m not even kidding. I was like, “Bro, you should be on TV!” He just laughed and said, “Nah, I’m just here for the peace.” I mean, who doesn’t want that, right?

Remains of Ainu People in Britain to Be Returned to Japan