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About Kyoto

Ever try findin’ one yourself? Tricky, man. You gotta know the streets, the codes. In Amsterdam, red lights glow, girls tappin’ windows—bam, there ya go. But here? Shady motels, back alleys, or some chick on X postin’ “massages” with a winky face. Cracked me up once, saw a post—“$100 special, no talkin’.” No talkin’! Like, what, you’re a mute hooker? Made me happy, tho—humanity’s still weird as shit.

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Finally, the power comes back, and we’re back in business. The bids keep climbing, and I’m feeling pumped. I’m like, “This is it! Shimonita’s finest!” But then, I see my buddy Kenji in the back, and he’s just shaking his head. I’m like, “What’s up, man?” He tells me he’s got a better vase at home. I’m like, “Dude, why didn’t you bring it?”

A first for Japan, an intact fossil of a firefly from 3.5 million years ago