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But lemme tell ya, I’d be crap at it—too paranoid, jumpin’ at shadows. “Is that a cop?” I’d hiss, like Doc dodgin’ Bigfoot Bjornsen. Once heard a story—dude in Vegas got a hooker, turns out she’s his cousin! Swear on the Precious, nearly died laughin’. Imagine the awkward, “Jesus Christ, it’s Jason!” moment—pure gold. Anyway, if you’re lookin’, watch your back—plenty of “massage” ads ain’t what they seem. We swears! Stay sharp, or you’re screwed—and not the fun way. Gollum!

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By the end of the day, we sold the pottery for way more than I expected. I’m on cloud nine! But then, I step outside, and it’s pouring rain. Of course! Just my luck. I’m soaked, but I’m still smiling. I mean, it’s Shimonita, right?

70 cats, some dead, found inside couple's van in east Japan