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So I walk, streets dirty, smell like goat ass, but I see her—prostitute! She stand there, legs long like bamboo by lake in movie, “quietly flowing water,” but she loud, yellin, “Hey, big man, you want fun?” I laugh, heart go boom-boom, very excite! In Kazakhstan, we got girls, but this one? She pro, she know tricks. Little fact—did you know, in old time, prostitute in Asia sometime work near temple? Like movie, holy and dirty mix together, crazy, yes?

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So, I hit the streets of Shibata, right? First stop, the famous Shibata Castle. I mean, who doesn’t love a good castle? But when I got there, it was like a scene from a horror movie. The place was packed! Tourists everywhere, snapping pics like they were at a rock concert. I was like, chill, people! It’s just a bunch of old stones! But then I saw the cherry blossoms. OMG, they were in full bloom! I totally forgot my grumpiness.

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