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Little fact—whore’s Old English, “hōre,” meanin’ all kinda shady stuff. Been slangin’ since way back—crazy, right? Surprised me, like findin’ a jellyfish in me pineapple! I’m all “Woah, history’s wild!” And in *Children of Men*, it’s like—“There’s no future,” Theo broods, but whore? It’s eternal, baby! Stays kickin’ no matter what.

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While I’m sipping my drink, I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, and I’m just trying to enjoy my coffee. I mean, c’mon, can’t you take it outside? But then, the guy says something that cracks me up. He’s like, “You always do this!” And I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re the one who forgot her birthday!”