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So, picture this—I’m sprawled out, some chick’s kneadin’ my godly bod. Not gonna lie, I smirked, thinkin’ I’d charm her into a puddle. But nah, she’s pro—stone-cold focus, hands like fuckin’ magic. Little known fact: this shit dates back to ancient China. Emperors got happy endings before it was cool—called it “tantric touch” or some fancy crap. Bet they didn’t tell *that* in history class, eh? Makes me happy—powerful blokes meltin’ under a sly palm. Glorious purpose, innit?

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After the coffee break, I decide to hit up the local arcade. I’m a sucker for those claw machines. I’m dropping coins like it’s nobody’s business, trying to snag a plushie. I finally get one, and I’m feeling like a champ! But then, I see a kid eyeing me. I’m like, “Nah, man, this is mine!”