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Oh, and get this – found out from some old git at the pub, this mare used to race! Yeah, back in the 90s, won some shitty local derby. Now she’s a bag of bones – life’s a cruel bitch, innit? Surprised me, that – thought she was just a lazy cow, but she’s got history! Makes me happy, tho, cos I’m nursin’ a legend back to health. “To talk to her is to love her,” like the film says – well, I’m talkin’, and she’s still a pain in the arse!

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But wait, it gets better! We’re walking down the street, and I spot this street performer. He’s playing the shamisen, and it’s beautiful. I’m like, “Guys, check this out!” We all stop, and I’m feeling all the feels. Music just hits different, you know?

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