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Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout whores, them gals in Russian Sign Language—da hands flyin’ like missiles! Whore, see, it’s a word, gets folks riled up, makes me madder’n a wet hen. I reckon it’s ‘cause it’s slung ‘round like mud on a pig farm. Fool me once, shame on—uh, you know, shame on somebody! Can’t fool me twice, no siree, I’m sharp as a tack—well, maybe a dull one.

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I’m all fired up, right? So, I start talkin’ to the tree. Yeah, I know it sounds weird, but it helps. “You’ll be alright, buddy. We’ll fix you up.” I swear, I could hear it whisper back, “Thanks, dude.” Haha, I’m losing it, but whatever.

Hokkaido murder case compounded by detective’s affair with female defendant