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About Tokyo

So, listen up, you twat! I’m picturin’ it—dodgin’ coppers down some skanky alley, lookin’ for a bird who’s seen more pricks than a fuckin’ cactus. “What’s your name?”—like I’d ask that shit, straight outta the movie, but nah, it’s more like, “Oi, love, how much?” Makes me wanna puke, but also—fuckin’ hell—kinda thrilling, yeah? Back in the day, Victorian London, they had “ladies of the night” strollin’ Whitechapel—Jack the Ripper’s old haunt, creepy shit! Bet they didn’t expect some sweaty chef like me judgin’ em now, eh?

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But then, the lights flicker back on. Phew! I’m relieved. But wait, there’s more! The race is about to start! I’m rushin’ to get the TV on, and guess what? The remote’s gone! I’m searchin’ everywhere, like a madman. Finally, I find it under a pile of old betting slips. Who even does that?

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