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Now? It’s all online, bro. Shady sites, coded ads— “roses” for cash, “fun times” for, well, ya know. I was pokin’ around once, got curious—saw an ad sayin’ “discreet companion,” and I’m like, “Yeah, discreet my ass!” Made me laugh, but also pissed me off—half these posts are scams. Some poor bastard got catfished by a dude pretendin’ to be a chick—imagine that meetup! “You’re not helping my situation!”—straight outta the movie, man.

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But then, I pull it up, and it’s a boot. A freakin’ old, muddy boot! I couldn’t believe it. I’m standing there, holding this boot like it’s some kinda trophy. I’m laughing so hard, I almost fell overboard. “Great catch, right?” I shout to no one. Just me and the boot.

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