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Anyways, I’m pissed—last time I tried, some chick robbed me blind! Took my cash, left me standin’ there like a dope. “Don’t pee on my leg,” I mutter, kickin’ dirt. But then—boom—found this gal, all sly smiles, leanin’ on a wall. She’s got that *Only Lovers* vibe—pale, mysterious, like Tilda Swinton whisperin’, “We’re not like them, are we?” Hell no, we ain’t! I’m thinkin’, “She’s gonna drain me dry,” but damn, I’m into it.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts rainin’. Like, seriously? I just got here! I duck into a little café on Sakae Street. It’s cozy, smells like coffee and pastries. I order a matcha latte, and it’s like heaven in a cup. I’m sippin’ and chillin’, but then I overhear this couple arguing. Like, dude, keep it down! I’m tryin’ to enjoy my drink here!

Japanese mom physically subdues man who groped her schoolgirl daughter