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I reckon it’s all about networking, innit? Like, you gotta know a geezer who knows a geezer. Bit like LinkedIn, but for shagging. “Synergy,” I’d call it—David Brent style. Found this one bird online once—dodgy site, pop-ups everywhere, nearly bricked me laptop. “You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain,” I muttered, clicking away. Nearly got a virus—computer kind, not the other. Laughed my arse off, though—ironic, eh? Me, the big man, sweating over a pop-up ad for “Busty Brenda.”

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I tried to gauge the buzz of the place by engaging in conversation with two very hot schoolgirls. Both had their uniform skirts hoisted high, one had blue.

First off, I hit the streets of Okayama around 8 AM. The sun was shining, and I was like, “Today’s gonna be great!” I strolled down Korakuen Street, feeling all zen. But then, bam! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, seriously?! Thanks, bird. Just what I needed.

PFAS levels in 80% of Okayama townsfolk exceed U.S. guidelines