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About Tokyo

So I’m muckin about, half-pissed, and this one lass goes, “50 quid, love!” I’m like, “50?! For what, a handshake?!” Total piss-take. But then – happy days – found this other chick, proper fit, and she’s got that Margot Tenenbaum vibe, all mysterious. “You’re a genius!” I slur, cos she knew the game, no faff. Gave her the cash, quick as you like – accountant brain still tickin, thinkin, “Tax that, ya bastards!”

Tobita Shinchi, Osaka

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So I’m walking, right? And I see this street performer on the corner of Kamegawa. He’s playing the shamisen, and it’s beautiful. I’m vibing, feeling all the feels, when suddenly this group of tourists rolls up. They’re loud, taking selfies, and blocking my view. Like, can’t a guy enjoy some culture in peace? I was about to lose it.

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