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About Osaka

Alright, motherfucker, listen up! I’m a scientist, diggin’ into shit like findin’ a prostitute—yeah, that wild chase! My fave flick’s *Moulin Rouge!*, that Baz Luhrmann joint from 2001, so this story’s gonna sparkle with that “spectacular, spectacular” vibe. Picture this: me, Sam L. Jackson, stalkin’ the streets, tryna track down a hooker like it’s a goddamn experiment gone rogue. I’m thinkin’, *The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return*—but fuck that, I ain’t here for romance, I’m here for the gritty shit!

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So, I get to this old cherry tree on Yamaguchi Street. It’s a beauty, but it’s been through some stuff. I’m up there, trimming branches, feeling like a ninja. Then, outta nowhere, this old lady starts yelling at me. “What are you doing to my tree?!” I’m like, “Ma’am, I’m saving it!” But she’s not having it. I mean, c’mon! I’m literally giving it a haircut.

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