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Hey, pal, buckle up—here’s Tina Fey, snarky as hell, comin’ at ya live! So, we’re talkin’ “whore,” huh? Not the chick down the block sellin’ cookies, nah, I mean the real deal—sex, cash, late nights, the works. I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ my coffee, thinkin’ about *25th Hour*, my fave Spike Lee joint, and damn if it don’t fit perfect. “You had it all, and you threw it away!”—that’s Monty screamin’ in my head while I picture some badass workin’ the corner, all sass, no regrets.

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First off, I hit up the Odawara Castle. I mean, who doesn’t love a good castle, right? But lemme tell ya, it was packed! Like, I thought I was at a concert or somethin’. I’m dodging tourists left and right, and I’m like, “Can’t a person enjoy some history in peace?” But the view from the top? Totally worth it. You can see the whole city, and even Mount Fuji peeking through the clouds. I was like, “Dude, that’s epic!”

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