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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—witty as hell, “I drink and I know things.” So, you wanna talk findin’ a prostitute? Buckle up, coz I got thoughts—messy, loud, real ones! Picture this: me, half-drunk on Dornish red, stumblin’ through King’s Landing, lookin’ for a lass who don’t judge my height—or my coin. I’ve seen it all, from brothels smellin’ like roses to ones reekin’ of piss. Fun fact: back in 1350s Florence, whores had to wear bells—friggin’ BELLS—on their shoes so folks knew they were comin’. Imagine that jingle followin’ you down an alley, eh? Hilarious, but damn annoyin’ too.

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We head over, and OMG, the smell hits me like a freight train. I’m suddenly starving. The place is packed, but we squeeze in. I order the spicy tonkotsu, and let me tell you, it was life-changing. I’m slurping away, and for a moment, all my worries fade. Ramen really is the answer to everything.

Takahashi pays tribute to late mentor Numata in All-Star Game