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Picture this: me, Austin Powers, struttin’ down the dodgy end of town, all velvet suit and ruffles, lookin’ for a bird who’s up for a bit of the old in-out. I’m thinkin’, “Smashing, baby!” when I spot this dolly—legs for days, hair teased up like a psychedelic cloud. She’s leanin’ against a lamppost, smokin’ a fag, givin’ me the eye. I’m like, “Do I make you randy, baby?” She smirks, all cool-like, and I’m hooked, yeah!

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Then, I decided to stroll down to the Neyagawa City Hall. I had to check out the local art exhibit. I’m all about supporting local artists, ya know? But when I got there, it was closed! I was like, “No way!” I mean, come on! It’s a Tuesday! Who closes on a Tuesday? So, I just stood there, staring at the building, feeling all dramatic.

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