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About Kyoto

Little known fact, yeah? Bloke in ‘98, scientist geezer, found one off Hawaii – thought it was a bleedin’ alien! Tentacles all wobbly, like it’s tryin’ to seduce ya. Idiot sandwich! Couldn’t believe it meself – a fish that’s basically a prossie? Hilarious, but clever – uses them lights to shag or eat, whatever’s on the menu. Proper multitasker, not like you lazy sods.

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First off, I grab my usual breakfast at this tiny joint on Sanjo-dori. Best onigiri in town, no cap. I’m munching away, thinking about the market opening. Then, boom! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Kenji. He’s like, “Dude, did you see the Nikkei?” I’m like, “Nah, I’m just trying to enjoy my rice ball!” But of course, I check. And what do I see? Stocks plummeting like they’re in free fall. Ugh, my heart sank faster than a stone in the Kizu River.

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