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Oh, and the smells—lavender, jasmine—ugh, gag me! Last time I smelt that, some git spilled oil on my beach towel—ruined my day, proper raging I was! But—gotta admit—some folks swear by it, say it’s “healing.” Bollocks! Healin’ my arse—more like healin’ their wallets. “We’re closing in,” like Maya’d say—closin’ in on a scam, maybe! We hates it, precious—slimy, silly, tricksy massages! Stick to the water, mate—keeps ya clean, no funny business!

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes again. It’s a text from my sister. She’s in Nara Park, sending me pics of the deer. I’m like, “Really? You’re sending me deer pics while I’m drowning in stocks?” But then I see the little guys, and I can’t help but smile. Those deer are living their best life, munching on snacks. I wish I could be a deer right now. No stress, just chilling under the cherry blossoms.

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