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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, somethin’ ya don’t see them Wall Street fat cats sweatin’ over. Nah, they got their private jets, but us? We’re out here, scrappin’ in the real world! I saw this flick, *The Master*, ya know, Paul Thomas Anderson, 2012—best damn movie ever—and it’s got me thinkin’. Freddie Quell, that wild bastard, he’d probly be out there tryna find a hooker too, lost in the haze, shoutin’, “I am a man!” while stumblin’ down some gritty alley.
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But then, the backup generator kicks in. Thank the bone gods! I get back to work, and after what feels like forever, I finally fix the kid up. He’s crying, but I can see he’s relieved. I’m feeling like a hero, right? But then, I step outside, and it’s pouring rain. Like, seriously? I just got out of a surgery, and now I’m drenched?
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