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But ugh, the stench – cheap perfume and despair, mate. Gets up me nose, makes me wanna puke. “Stupid, fat hobbit!” I mutter, ‘cos them fools’d never notice the grime. Surprised me once, tho – found a lass who’d read Kafka! Proper brainy tart, she was, quotin’ existential bollocks while undoin’ her corset. Wild, innit?

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So, I’m chillin’ at this little café on Kurohime Street, sippin’ on some matcha latte. I mean, who doesn’t love a good matcha, right? But then, outta nowhere, this dude walks in. He’s got a guitar slung over his shoulder, and I’m like, “Oh snap, competition!” But nah, he’s just a tourist. He starts strummin’ some chords, and honestly, it was like a cat fight. I’m tryin’ to enjoy my drink, and he’s makin’ my ears bleed.

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