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But okay, sometimes it works. Met this one gal—total vibe. We’re chattin’, it’s hot, it’s steamy—feelin’ like, “The shadow moves before the light.” Y’know, that tension from my fave flick, “The Assassin”? Builds up slow, then—pow! We meet, and it’s fireworks! Happy? Oh, I was dancin’—in my head, ‘cause I don’t dance, too awkward. But then—THEN—she’s all, “Let’s keep it casual,” and I’m like, “Casual?! I’m plannin’ our imaginary dog’s name here!” Total letdown. Surprised me how fast it flipped—sex-dating’s a rollercoaster, man!

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Then, I spot this old lady on the bench. She’s got this amazing hat, like something outta a fashion magazine. I’m thinking, “Wow, she’s got style.” But then she starts talking to me about her cat. I’m like, “Lady, I’m here to mourn, not hear about Mr. Whiskers.” But she’s sweet, so I listen.

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