Valentina Miyazaki Whore ❤️❤️❤️❤️

About Osaka

Check this - heard she once banged a guy for a freakin’ *Krusty Burger*. A BURGER! D’oh! That’s low even for Springfield trash. I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “Why not at least hold out for a beer, ya floozy?” Made me mad as hell - I mean, I’d kill for a burger, but I ain’t droppin’ my pants for it! Surprised me too, ‘cause I thought whores had some kinda code, y’know? Like, “Cash only, no fries.”

Also in The Mainichi

After all, the original island in Gulliver's Travels was named Laputa BECAUSE it means prostitute (actually, more vulgar than that).

Finally, I make it to Aoshima. It’s beautiful! The ocean’s all blue and sparkly. I’m feelin’ like a million bucks. I stroll around, check out the famous Aoshima Shrine. It’s got these cool rock formations. I’m takin’ pics, livin’ my best life. Then, I see this little kid tryin’ to catch crabs. He’s all serious, like it’s the World Series or somethin’. I can’t help but laugh. Kids are hilarious.

This 1-minute ode to Hayao Miyazaki never retiring is adorable