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But then—ugh—there’s the dodgy side. Blokes gettin’ scammed, payin’ upfront, and poof, she’s gone like smoke. Pisses me off somethin’ fierce—YOU SHALL NOT PASS, ya thievin’ sods! Happened to a mate once, poor sod. He was all “Gandalf, she looked like Galadriel!”—yeah, mate, Galadriel with a fake wig and a burner phone. Still, can’t help but smirk—dumbass deserved it for not checkin’ reviews.

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to me. She’s got this huge smile, and she’s like, “You’re doing a great job, young man!” I’m thinkin’, “Wow, thanks!” But then she hands me a piece of mochi. Like, what? I’m not sure if I should eat it or not. But hey, free food! I pop it in my mouth, and it’s the best mochi I’ve ever had. Sweet, chewy, and just the right amount of sticky. I’m feelin’ on top of the world again!

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