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About Osaka

Now, me, I’d be rubbish at it—findin’ one, I mean. I’d stumble in, all “err, hello, *salve*, fancy a chat?”—total muppet. But here’s the kicker: it’s a cash drain, innit? You’re splashin’ dosh on somethin’ that’s gone in—what—20 mins? Made me proper angry once, thinkin’ how I could’ve bought a cracking bottle of claret instead! Happy though, cos—ha!—imagine the headlines: “Boris Caught in Brothel Shocker!”—I’d dodge that faster than a greased piglet.

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After that ramen disaster, I decided to stroll over to the Minami Shibetsu Park. It’s got this sick pond, and the cherry blossoms were in full bloom. I mean, it was beautiful, but I was still salty about my shirt. I sat on a bench, tryin’ to chill, but then this kid runs by, and I swear he almost knocked me over. Kids, man. They got no chill.