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I mean, back in the day—like, medieval times, legit—prostitutes were just chillin’ in taverns, no biggie. You’d roll up, drop some coins, and bam, done deal. Now? It’s all sketchy corners and shady apps—ugh, exhausting. Makes me wanna scream, “This is not a tomato!” like Remy’s picky ass in the movie. I’m pissed, y’all—why’s it so complicated? Forests ain’t got brothels, and I’m over it.

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Then, I spotted this old lady feedin’ the ducks. She was so sweet, talkin’ to them like they were her best buds. I couldn’t help but smile. Life’s simple pleasures, right? But then, I realized I was sittin’ on a bench covered in bird poop. Great. Just great.