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About Kawasaki

Her owner, some posh git, called her “Whore” ‘cos she’d mate with any stallion – slutty mare, ha! Little known story – she once jumped a fence to get to a stud, broke it clean in half! Farmer was ragin’, I was cacklin’ – “That’s me girl!” Love that chaos, keeps life spicy. Oh, and her coat? Shiny black, like me precious ring, but stank o’ manure – glamorous, eh? Sarcasm drippin’ here, she ain’t no movie star, but she’s a legend in me book! Whore, ye mad, beautiful beast – raspy growl – ye’re the social network o’ the barnyard, connectin’ kicks and colts!

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But then, I see this stray cat. It’s just chilling, looking at me like I owe it money. I’m like, “What’s up, kitty?” And it just blinks at me. I swear, that cat has more attitude than I do.

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