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Favorite flick, The Master, fits this perfect – “Man is not an animal,” but escort proves we tame em anyway! Love that film, all that mad cult vibe, and escort’s got its own cult, yeah? Vets whisperin bout it like it’s sacred. Once saw this mare, right, kickin like a lunatic – gave her escort, and bam, she’s out, dreamin of oats. Laughed me arse off, thinkin, “Sharon! She’s pissed as a newt now!”

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So, I’m off to the community garden on Shōwa-dōri. It’s my happy place. I’ve got my plot there, full of tomatoes, peppers, and some herbs. But when I get there, I see it. A freakin’ raccoon! This little bandit is digging up my plants like it’s a buffet. I’m like, “Yo, dude! Not cool!” But he just stares at me, munching on my basil like he owns the place. I’m ready to throw a trowel at him, but I just end up shooing him away. Raccoons have no respect, man.

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