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About Nagoya

I try app, “EscortFinder,” very modern! Profile say, “Lola, 25, curvy,” but photo blurry, sus! Meet her, she 40, smell like cabbage, not very nice! I mad, “Why you lie, Lola?” She shrug, “Business, baby!” I laugh, coz Jep say, “We’re all on brink of despair!” True, Lola, true! Fun fact – in Italy, prostitutes dodge tax, call it “private dance,” sneaky bastards!

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Next up, I get this group of tourists. They’re all excited, takin’ selfies and stuff. One dude’s like, “Is this the elevator to the Kushiro Wetlands?” I’m like, “Nah, buddy, but it’ll take ya to the 3rd floor, which is almost as good.” They laugh, and I’m feelin’ like a comedian.

Hokkaido on four wheels: How to explore Japan’s wild north