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About Fukuoka

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, somethin’ ya don’t see them Wall Street fat cats sweatin’ over. Nah, they got their private jets, but us? We’re out here, scrappin’ in the real world! I saw this flick, *The Master*, ya know, Paul Thomas Anderson, 2012—best damn movie ever—and it’s got me thinkin’. Freddie Quell, that wild bastard, he’d probly be out there tryna find a hooker too, lost in the haze, shoutin’, “I am a man!” while stumblin’ down some gritty alley.

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But then, the mood shifts. My boss walks in, and he’s not happy. Apparently, we need to cut costs. Ugh, why? I’m like, “Dude, we just got funding!” But he’s all about the budget. I’m fuming. Like, can’t a scientist catch a break?

Significant Earthquake of Magnitude 6.0 Just Reported 87 km South of Miyazaki, Japan