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Anyway, I’m imaginin’ this scene—me, awkward as hell, tryin’ to negotiate. “How much? Wait, no, don’t answer!” I’d panic, thinkin’ about my ex-wife, my accountant, God—what a mess! In *Werckmeister*, they say, “All is lost!”—yep, that’s me, losin’ it over a $20 deal! I’d probly tip too much outta guilt, then rant, “Why’s this so stressful?!” Happy? Nope. Surprised? Hell yeah—how do people DO this?!

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Then, I see this old man feeding pigeons. He’s got this huge bag of bread. I’m like, “Man, that’s the dream.” Just chilling, feeding birds. I wanna be that guy. But then, one pigeon swoops down and steals his sandwich. The look on his face? Priceless! I’m cracking up.

Significant Earthquake of Magnitude 6.0 Just Reported 87 km South of Miyazaki, Japan