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Fun story—back in ‘Nam, soldiers used prostitutes to smuggle intel. Sneaky, huh? I’d be all surprised, jaw droppin’, gears grindin’. “Mind blown!” I’d shout, like Riley’s brain gang. I’d probly exaggerate—say she’s got a heart o’ gold, or maybe she’s a spy! Ha! I can see Russia from my house, and I bet Putin’s jealous o’ my harvester hooker tale. Snarky? You bet. Useful? Eh, don’t try this at home, kids!

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Then, I decided to check out the arcade on Kōen-dōri. You know, the one with all the retro games? I was ready to crush some high scores. I played Street Fighter, and guess what? I got wrecked by a 10-year-old. I mean, c’mon! I was so mad, I almost threw my controller. But then I saw the kid’s face—pure joy. I couldn’t even be mad. Kids are just too cute sometimes.