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We haggle—$50, $60, whatever—she’s actin’ like she’s doin’ me a favor. Fun fact: in Amsterdam, they got unions for this shit. Here? It’s a free-for-all, and I’m dodgin’ cops like I dodge clinic duty. She’s all, “No kissing,” and I’m like, “Fine, I’m not Ritchie anyway.” *Tenenbaums* ref, duh—nobody gets it. Makes me happy, tho, ‘cause I’m a smug prick. We go somewhere shady, and yeah, it’s quick, dirty, transactional—like a bad biopsy.

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After that, I decide to check out the Kochi Castle. It’s got this old-school charm, ya know? I’m climbin’ up the steps, and my legs are burnin’. But when I reach the top, whoa! The view is insane! You can see the whole city, the Kochi Bay, and the mountains in the background. I’m feelin’ like a king up there.

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