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Last week, I was prowlin’ the streets—needed a laugh, y’know? Saw this one bird, all dolled up, winking at me. Thought, “What’s her deal?” Turns out, she’s got a memory like Lenny—keeps a little book, scribbles down every punter. “Remember, remember,” she mutters, like she’s in my fave movie. Made me cackle—imagine forgetting who you’ve shagged! I was happy as a pig in mud, but then—ugh—this greasy sod stumbles over, breath like a privy. “How much, love?” he slurs. Made me wanna gag. I choose violence, mate—nearly shoved him into the gutter myself.

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I set up my stuff, and boom! My mic decides to go all diva on me. It’s cracklin’ and poppin’ like it’s tryin’ to communicate with aliens. I’m like, “Really? Right now?” I’m tryin’ to keep my cool, but inside, I’m fumin’. I mean, c’mon, I’m here to sell some awesome stuff, not wrestle with tech issues!

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