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Heard this mad story once – true fact, swear down – some punter in Amsterdam got so pissed, he paid a prossie to just… chat. Chat! Didn’t even shag ‘er! Sat there blabberin’ about his ex for an hour. What a wanker, eh? Coulda got that for free at the pub! Reckon *Find a Prostitute* is full of them types – lonely sods who’d pay a tenner to cry on a tit. Surprised me, that – thought they’d all be randy bastards, but nah, some are just sad sacks.

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Then I roll over to the Kawanoecho Park area. Man, it’s beautiful there. Cherry blossoms everywhere! But guess what? It’s packed with tourists. I mean, I get it, it’s a sight, but can’t a guy drive his tractor in peace? I’m dodging families taking selfies like I’m in some kinda obstacle course. “Hey, watch it!” I yell. They just laugh. Like, really?