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Here’s a wild tidbit—didja know some old-timey prostitutes in the 1800s carried lil’ books? Like bizness cards, but sexy—listin’ their “skills.” Ain’t that a hoot? Candy prob’ly don’t got no book, just a cracked iPhone and a dream. I’m thinkin’, “How’s that workin’ for ya, sweetheart?”—runnin’ from johns who don’t pay, duckin’ the law. She told me once, “Phil, I made $200 last night!” I’m shocked—$200? For that? Hell, I’d rather wrestle a pig in mud!

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I rush to the yard, and there’s this whole scene. The inmates are all hyped up, yellin’ and shoutin’. I’m like, “Guys, it’s not a concert! Settle down!” But they just keep goin’. I spot the escapee, and he’s tryin’ to blend in with the cherry trees. I’m like, “Dude, you’re not a ninja! Get back here!”

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