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So, I’m in dis grimy alley, yeah? Smells like old cabbage an’ regret. Dis chick pops up—red heels, fishnets, real classy, ya? I’m like, “Lightbulb! Dere she is!” She’s givin’ me da eye, an’ I’m all, “Vhat’s yer price, eh?” She says somethin’ wild—50 bucks fer 20 minutes! I’m HAPPY, like, “Dat’s a steal, ya!” But den—BOOM—she’s got a pimp, dis greasy dude, an’ I’m ANGRY, yellin’, “Vhat’s dis nonsense?!” He’s all, “Pay up, Ruskie!” an’ I’m thinkin’, “Dis ain’t in da script!”

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After that, I decided to hit up the local shops on Sakae Street. I needed some snacks to recover from the chaos. I found this little place selling taiyaki. You know, those fish-shaped cakes filled with sweet red bean paste? Heaven! I bought one, and it was so good, I almost cried. Like, why can’t all days be like this?

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