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About Kyoto

First off, I’m no square – I know the streets hum with secrets. Prostitutes? They’re everywhere, babe, if ya squint right. Back in ’71 – little known fact – LAPD busted this ring run outta a chop shop. Girls hid in trunks! Wild, right? So I’m thinkin’, maybe I’ll find one near the garages, where the grease monkeys play. Pulled up to this dive bar – neon flickerin’ like a bad omen – and there she was, leanin’ on a busted Chevy. “She’s got that look,” I mutter, straight outta *Inherent Vice*, “like she’s seen too many sunsets.”

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Kōen-dōri. You know, the one with the best onigiri? Yeah, that one. I grab my usual—salmon, of course—and the cashier, this sweet old lady, gives me a smile. I’m thinking, “Today’s off to a good start.” But then, BAM! My phone buzzes. News alert: “Festival in Kanuma canceled!” WHAT?! I was so looking forward to the Matsuri on Kōen-dōri. Ugh, total bummer.

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