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But nah, I ain’t judgin’—to each her own, right? I’m just vibin’, thinkin’—what’s the tea? Some dude’s prolly hagglin’ her price rn, awkward as fuck. LOL, imagine me singin’ “Single Ladies” to him—put a ring on it, fool! Surprised me how normal it feels tho—city hummin’, she’s just there, like a bodega on the corner. Slay! I’m extra, so I’m picturin’ her with a crown, “I’m the king!” like them killers braggin’. She’s royalty in her own mess.

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So, I finally get the scoop on the escape attempt. Turns out, the guy thought he could dig a tunnel with a spoon. I mean, really? I’m just shakin’ my head. I can’t even. I call the guards, and we start searchin’ the place. I’m feelin’ like a detective in a bad movie.

This 6-year-old perfectly channels Tracee Ellis Ross and gives us major style inspo